It’s one of life’s great injustices. We reach a certain age, and suddenly, nobody wants to give us free candy anymore when we knock on their door that one magical night of the year.
I clearly love my sugar, so I was one of those kids who took it pretty hard when I found out I was too old to trick-or-treat… obviously, as I’m still coping with it so many years later.
I know I’m not the only one out there so…
In honor of tomorrow’s upcoming holiday, I offer some solidarity to my Too-Old-to-Trick-or-Treat comrades.
Top 10 Tips for Retired Trick-or-Treaters
- No matter how tempting, learn from Claire Dunphee; don’t do this.
- Two words- Grocery. Store. Take it from the Queen of free grocery store samples (Me), they always hand out candy to everyone, young and old, on Halloween.
- If it’s the costumes and not the candy you miss, dress up you pet! It’s the next best thing… and don’t worry, they’ll forgive you eventually. Here’s some particularly adorable ones sent in by you guys.
- If you really miss the costumes and the candy, dress up your pet, stand outside, and charge trick-or-treaters a piece of candy each to pet them.
- If you’re like me and all your friends seem to be having kids, offer to go along for moral support. Your real mission: sympathy candy.
- If you have your own children, but they’re not old enough to have teeth, it’s pretty obvious who the candy is for… Stick it out another year or so, you’re almost there.
- If you do have kids that are trick-or-treating, do what my Dad always did and implement The Candy Tax. “Why do you get to charge a candy tax??”
“Because I can.” Three little words that always guaranteed him the best candy.
- If you’re handing out candy, don’t end up empty handed. Dress up in scrubs and hand out sugar-free gum to your Trick-or-Treaters… ask them to save their teeth and trade in one piece of candy for your piece of gum. Jackpot.
- Have some fun with your trick-or-treaters- tell them that you’ve misplaced your glasses, and proceed to ‘accidentally’ miss their bags. Watch them desperately try to catch the candy as you drop it.
- FInally, just be happy your parents never did this to you after a long hard night of trick-or-treating.
Okay, okay I’ve had my fun but seriously, I hope you all have a safe and fun Halloween! For some great safety tips for your trick-or-treaters, click here.
Have a great recipe for leftover Halloween candy? Send it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a chance to be featured on Friday’s Sweets of the Week!
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Until next time,
Happy Baking and Happy Halloween!